STAGE FOUR: DEPRESSION

Depression is a normal part of the grieving process. It is a time of sorrow over what has occurred and the choices you have made. It is perhaps the hardest part of the grieving cycle following abortion because you have to come to grips with your own actions and behaviors and acknowledge your own responsibility in these matters. The pain in your heart can be overwhelming. You may find yourself with very low self-esteem and with much negative thinking toward yourself. Depression is anger turned inward at yourself-it always results from thoughts that are distorted in some way.

DEPRESSION RESOLVED:

It is wise to continue journaling throughout this time. Each day, write down what you are feeling. Notice the triggers that bring out anger, sadness, regret, etc. Really notice how you are feeling toward yourself. Remember, your conscience is awakening to the morals you always knew were true, that is why you are feeling so badly about yourself. What seems so depressing now, is actually a blessing in disguise. God is working out all the sin so you can be healed. Trust God and let Him clean you up. You’ll never be sorry. God does love you. You need to believe that because it is true.

As you journal, learn to recognize faulty thinking patterns. Faulty thinking tells you that you are worthless, useless, a failure, unlovable, no good to anyone, stupid, etc. None of these things are true. You feel this way because of the heavy burden of the abortion(s) in your life. But all the mistakes we make, all the sins we commit, show us where we are in life, not who we are. They show us where we are can change….we just need to take stock of our lives, and decide to make healthy changes. Who you are is wrapped up in all the values that are coming to the surface. It is wrapped up in the fact that God has made you and He has a plan and purpose for your life. Who you are is not related to what you have done, it is related to who you are in Christ, in God’s sight.

Depression is a healthy part of grief if you recognize it for what it is. It is telling you to grieve and work the issues through. Just around the corner is the light at the end of the tunnel, for after depression comes healing of the heart and forgiveness from God if you will turn to Him.

Recognize faulty thinking and challenge your self-critical thoughts. Change falsehoods to truth. Examples: