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I'm Pregnant -- Now What?
Questions You May Have Asked Yourself
Adoption, Abortion, or Parenting: Consider All
the Angles
Before You Decide...Get the Facts
Risks to Consider
A Decision-Making Guide
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Are You Abortion-Minded?
Things to Consider:
Remember: Any choice you make will have new challenges,
new pressures and new consequences. We make our decisions, but then our
decisions turn around and make us. We are not free to choose
the consequences of any choice we make…we will need to deal with
them as they follow us in life. With that in mind, let’s look at
things to consider, specifically with the choice of abortion.
Consider why you are contemplating having
an abortion.
1.) Are you considering abortion
so that your life will not change?
In reality, your life will change no matter what option you
choose. Any choice will bring many changes. You may be risking the very
things you hope to protect…career, relationships, peace of mind.
2) Are you fearful of losing your
partner?
Statistics show that 70% of all relationships break up within 3 months
of an abortion. Once a crisis such as an unexpected pregnancy hits, life
never goes back directly to what was…there are new issues to deal
with. Even the closest of relationships have often not been able to weather
an abortion. Abortion is a serious matter between partners. Together you
will have a baby-decision…to parent together (whether you marry
or not), to place for adoption, or to abort…but there will always
be a baby to consider, and consequences to bear. Abortion is only done
when there is a baby….it is done for no other reason. With abortion,
there is no turning back, and relationships are affected in the bedroom
and beyond!
3) Are you looking to avoid the guilt
of facing your parents with this pregnancy?
How will abortion help the guilt? This is too high a price for
guilt as most parents react with anger and disappointment not because
they think less of you as their child, but because they care about you
and worry about you, and want you to experience the best in life. They,
too, are concerned with your future. In most cases, parents turn out to
be your best support system. Give them time to get over their initial
shock and you will find they love you enough to support you through any
crisis.
4) Are you choosing abortion to be
free of the problems you are facing with your partner or with your family?
How will abortion help an already troubled situation? Make no
mistake about it, abortion will affect you, and may even seem to help
in the beginning. Unfortunately it often leaves you with a whole new set
of problems you haven’t counted on in the days and years to come.
Aborting a baby will not take away problems already existing. It will,
in fact, add to them. Talk to those who have been there!
Here are a few more questions to ask yourself:
1. Ask yourself, “Do I feel
abortion is right, or do I feel it is wrong but at the same time necessary?”
You can’t know what is necessary until you know what first is right.
“Necessary” is never on the side of “wrong.” You
should never change your value system in any decision. You will forever
regret it.
2. Are you rationalizing your decision?
Sometimes decisions are rationalized out of fear, embarrassment, or life
circumstances. Our stomach is often a better indicator of what we really
feel, and about our sense of values than our head is. Our heads can justify
almost anything. Rationalization is a big part of an abortion decision.
Our stomach often lets us know what our conscience is trying to say to
us. Are you at peace with your decision or are you anxious? What is your
stomach trying to tell you?
3. Consider how you make decisions.
What are your decisions based on?
Are they based on your values or on how you feel? Are they based on the
facts of the situation or on what other people are pressuring you to do?
Are they based on right and wrong or on your circumstances? Are they based
on probable outcomes or on wishful thinking? Go to our decision-making
guide (link)
4. Consider whether or not you are
stuffing your feelings.
It is easier to become numb in a crisis situation than to deal with all
the overwhelming feelings that invade the mind! So many feelings come
to the surface—fear, anger, guilt, confusion, anxiety, embarrassment,
helplessness, loss of control in the situation. The proverbial rug has
just been pulled out from under you and nothing is the same as it was
just a few days before.
Believe it or not, feelings are a good thing. Feelings tell us where we
are, so we have a chance to think things through step by step. If we choose
not to think, and instead go ahead with quick decisions or take what we
think is the easy way out, too often we live with regret. The only choices
we should make are informed choices. Let feelings surface and work through
the anger. Get knowledgeable about pregnancy facts. Get knowledgeable
about abortion procedures and their risks. Learn about post-abortion syndrome.
Do not go into any decision blindly.
5. Consider how you are feeling about
yourself.
How will abortion change your self-image? Consider doing a “time-line”.
It will help you determine where you are in life and look back at all
that has happened in your past. Look at the present—what changes
would you like to see? Consider your future. Are you moving in healthy
directions?
Before You Decide, Be Informed!
Use the link below for a page of vital facts.
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All contents ©2004 Cheryl S. Ryan and
Pregnancy Helpline of Janesville, Wisconsin
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